I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
