Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
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FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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