therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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