People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
