just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
