Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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