Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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