GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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