just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
