going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
