How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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