The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
