Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
