On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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