girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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