we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
