she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
