i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
