Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
