I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
