:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
