dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
