I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
