I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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