Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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