i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
