Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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