Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
