when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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