wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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