Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I want to fling myself into the sun
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
