what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
