I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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