In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
