you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
