is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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