Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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