He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
