So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
