grandma shit on top of the toilet
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
