Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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