You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
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Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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