he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
