Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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