You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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