Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
