There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
