tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
