All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
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I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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