Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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