I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Randomize
