She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
