dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
