My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
