love makes seman taste better
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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