I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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